[ Mental Health ] Open Question : Why do I get so depressed? And am I suicidal?
I'm not sure why I get depressed... I have a great family, I have the good fortune to have a car, and a motorcycle, I'm going into a good college and I'm getting a good laptop which I wanted for a long time. I have good friends and I have hobbies, but for some reason I get depressed.
I have a tendency to worry alot. I worry about cancers mainly. I worry that my family would get cancer and I really don't want them to go through that. If I see a lump, rash, unusual behavior, I have to google what's going on! Then I get sick, enough to make me vomit (or at least have the pressure). I get anxiety attacks and I get headaches, sometimes if I worry enough, I can't sleep, sometimes for days on end!
My depression usually starts with that, once I start to worry, I don't think rationally... This is my thought process:
1. Find a rash.
2. Google if it's a serious rash.
3. If I find out it is not serious, I need to keep looking to confirm that.
4. If I find out it is serious, I worry about it and I start planning out a suicide method within minutes.
5. Be depressed until I get reassurance that it is nothing.
Also, on a side note, I hear voices in my head. They tell me to do things and I have conversations with them. They say I have to do things inorder to keep my family illness free. If I don't obey his orders, he will make someone sick. I'm really scared, because the voices got really aggressive. They have cooled down for a couple days, but I know they'll be back. They say to leave a small piece of everything I eat for them, so I do. I do what they say, and I believe them, word for word.
- What's causing me this depression?
- How do I stop worrying?
- And if I can, how do I control the voice?
Thank you.
Source: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120808145948AAQZ8LA