[ Other - Family & Relationships ] Open Question : I really want to achieve this dream, but i don't believe i can do it! :( Could you please give me advice?
I'm 17 years old, soon to be 18, and since i was 14, i've always had a dream. Sorry if this is so long. It's 4am as i'm writing this, and i can't go to sleep because i've been troubled by this so much. So i would really appreciate it if someone answers. And my dream is that is to be with the girl i love.
When i was 14, i knew a gorgeous girl (lets call her Yuki). But she had to move to an east-asian country because her family wanted to move back. But before she left, i collected the courage to confess to her about how i feel about her, otherwise i never would have had the chance, and i would have regretted it forever. She was so happy, she cried like a child because she had felt the same way :)
But because we couldn't be together as she was no longer to be in my country, we made a promise to each other that when we reached of age, we would stay together, forever no matter what. And that was a promise we intended to never break.
So i just called her on her mobile almost everyday, and we would speak 1-2 hours, sometimes more. And i was sure to write to her often and email her regularly. And this continued until i was 17.
Then, after almost 3 years of being apart, i think the distance had taken it's toll with both of us. She went to a very strict boarding school where she had exams almost everyday for most the year. And because she is in the top 100 students in her province (which has millions of students), she had to study all the time. And so, we had to change our schedules to fit our calls to each other. We ended up skipping days, then weekends, then whole weeks, etc.
I ended up skipping lunch breaks to speak with her to fit in her demanding schedule. Then skipping classes, sleeping hours in the early morning and eventually leading me to fail my A-levels since i was not in the mindset to succeed. She is always my priority.
I guess this led to us growing apart, and every contact between us grew to weeks sometimes. In the end, she told me that she no longer felt the way she did. But she would always see me as the most important person in her life and hoped i wouldn't ever leave her. I knew by the way she said those words she still had feelings for me, but she didn't believe it could happen.
That was a few months ago. Now it's been over a month since i last heard from her. I found her facebook a while back, but she never uses it, so i don't check her profile or facebook at all. But one day, i just felt bored and i checked out of curiosity, and i saw that she would regularly talk with all the boys (mostly boys) in her class, sometimes everyday. All the time when i haven't even received a single email from her all month, when i have still written to her often.
Now, I'm not the one to get jealous over her talking to guys. I'm not that sort of person. But i really hate how I'm such a low priority to her, that she hasn't bothered to talk to me, text me or write to me in a month! Yet, she talks with her friends all the time!
Finally, i have only 1 more year to go until i can visit her. I need to be 18 to gain a visa to her country, and it's only a few months until that happens. I have saved hundreds of pounds to fund the flight by my part-time job (which i don't have now, as it was temporary >_Source: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120805065834AAeZFGI